I have been asked many questions concerning our adoption. While most questions can be anticipated and planned for, I had one doozie come at me from left field. In a nutshell, the question went something like this: “God forbid anything should ever happen to your husband and you are left a widow with three children, do you think someone would be willing to marry you considering you have two Caucasian children and one African child?” (Insert quick prayer for help.) Lord, please give me the right words to answer this absurdity!! After I realized that the question was not, in fact, a joke, I spent some time reflecting on how other people, especially those outside of the adoption world, may view and/or perceive adoption. Then, I spent more time reflecting on how people of various cultures, ethnicities, and (older) generations may view transracial adoption.
After much prayer, reading, and connecting with others in the adoption community, I have come to realize that when people ask questions about adoption or adopted children, most of the time they are genuinely curious. The questions may sometimes be perceived as rude or offensive, but that is probably because unlike those of us on this journey, most people are simply not immersed in the culture or language of adoption. They are simply curious and the openness of their questions reflects their curiosity. Therefore, I believe it is part of our responsibility as adoptive parents to joyfully share our experiences with others so that God may be glorified through the adoption of His children.
While I wanted to shout out a loud, “SERIOUSLY?!” to the aforementioned question, I bit my tongue and tried to explain that it would be my neurotic tendency to over-organize the closets or my insistence on only eating organic produce and dairy and/or my refusing to allow BPA, parabens, or high fructose corn syrup anywhere near our home that would drive away any potential spouse…should I become a widow…God forbid. :-)
In all honesty, I love getting questions about adoption because it forces me to pray and reflect on my innermost motivations. In short, adoption is not about me, it is and always will be about God, the ultimate father to the fatherless and if our family can contribute a small piece to His work, then glory to Him! Romans 8:14-16 says this, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father".